Announcing my new I Can Make You A CSS Zen Master DVD

If you follow me on Twitter, you might know that I've spent the last couple of weeks in San Francisco, recording several DVD titles for New Riders. Most will be available in around three months, but I'm pleased to announce that one, I Can Make You A CSS Zen Master, is available today. Watch the trailer below to find out more.

Transcript:

I know what you want to be. You want to become a CSS master, and after you buy my I Can Make You A CSS Zen Master DVD, that's exactly what you'll become.

I've learned from ten years of working on the web, designing hundreds of sites, that the power to become a CSS master comes not by overcoming your problems with positioning or selectors, it comes from deep inside you. It comes from inside your mind.

When you take control of your thoughts, when you banish negativity from your mind and think only of the great things that you can accomplish when you master CSS, you'll banish stress, become happier, more fulfilled. You'll become the CSS master that you always dreamed you'd be.

My DVD will teach you simple techniques to put away those negative feelings forever. Let me show you how – right now…

I want you to close your eyes. Picture your problems with CSS in your mind's eye?

Do you worry about Internet Explorer? When you close your eyes, do you see Internet Explorer as an ancient, evil monster that rampages across your CSS? Does the monster destroy everything that you have worked so hard to create? Your mind has the power to change that. Your mind has the power to shrink that browser down to size.

Imagine that Internet Explorer is small enough to hold in your hands. Now take that browser and put it in a box. Close the lid tight and tape it shut. Imagine how good you'll feel… aaaah… Now imagine covering that box with six feet of concrete and an elephant sitting on top of it. Imagine how good you'll feel… aaaah…

Do you have a client who complains when their site doesn't look exactly the same in IE as it does in other browsers? Would you like it if they went away? Your mind has the power to make that happen.

Imagine that same client dressed like a little girl. Now picture yourself picking up a bucket of worms and emptying it over his head. Feels good, doesn't it? In your mind, hear him scream and watch him running to his Mummy… mmmmm…

With techniques like these, I've helped literally thousands of web designers to conquer their CSS demons.

My DVD will teach you the techniques that will give you the power to become a CSS master in only seven days. And for a limited time, when you order I Can Make You A CSS Zen Master, you've receive my book, Overcoming Internet Explorer Anxiety, absolutely free.

Order today, start tomorrow and you soon be the CSS master you always dreamed you'd be.

Andy Clarke 01/04/09 | Tweet this | Short URL: http://stuffandnonsense.co.uk/s/181

There have been 31 replies

  1. 1

    Tim Van Damme

    Where do I pay? Do we get a fitting kimono?

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  2. 2

    Andy Croll

    Wax on, wax off.

    Hearing you whispering about evil monsters and then sighing is nothing if not a little creepy. :-)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  3. 3

    Bridget Stewart

    You silver tongued devil! You could sell me a pyramid scam and I’d eat it up with a spoon.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  4. 4

    Scott

    I see it’s already April 1 over in the UK.  :-)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  5. 5

    Livia

    Hahaha, seems like everyone is having a field day with April Fools’. Does this have anything to do with the Litmus ad in the sidebar? ;)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  6. 6

    Lauren Scime

    I really did picture for a moment that my mind had the power to shrink IE….adorable shameless self promotion zen master Miyagi.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  7. 7

    Nick Scheurich

    I envisioned it in the box — in its concrete tomb beneath the stalwart pachyderm. But alas! It wasn’t enough! That accursed, primeval behemoth shattered my concentration, freeing itself from its confines, rampaging unyieldingly through my carefully constructed style sheets. I need guidance, zen master!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  8. 8

    Jina Bolton

    An April Fool’s Joke that is actually funny. Fantastic job! :)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  9. 9

    prisca

    great clip - can’t believe you managed to keep a straight face throughout :)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  10. 10

    Pauly_D

    When the client asks why it’s all gone to cock in IE we simply hold up a lotus flower.

    That is all.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  11. 11

    simon r jones

    that brightened up my morning Malarkey, very good :)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  12. 12

    José Carlos

    You almost hypnotize people with your seriousness in the video. Well done.
    Can I use your text in a email chain, please? :D

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  13. 13

    Owen

    Mesmerizing.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  14. 14

    Rob

    Was your objective to hypnotize people, because it worked.


    Bark.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  15. 15

    Ricky Onsman

    In just seven days, baby ...

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  16. 16

    Chris McMahon

    Garth Merenghi’s CSS Darkplace

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  17. 17

    Vladimir Carrer

    LoooooooooL !!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  18. 18

    Stelabouras

    Nice one!

    A note though: Right sound channel on the video seems muted :S

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  19. 19

    Ryan Brunsvold

    Painful, yet soothing.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  20. 20

    Axel

    Know whats funny - if you parse the video backwards through a video editor!

    The guy seems to be saying “I bit the head off of Ozzy Ozbourne” and “The Beatles made me do it”

    Rlly!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  21. 21

    Malarkey

    @Nick Scheurich: “I need guidance, zen master!” — Don’t worry, accursed, primeval behemoth bothered me too, before I learned to tame it with the power of my mind. Next time, try pinching your thumb and forefinger together when you close your eyes. That can help too.

    @Stelabouras: “Right sound channel on the video seems muted” — Yeah, that’s because the right channel is for the subliminal messages. Can’t you hear them?

    @Axel: But The Beatles did make me do it!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  22. 22

    Mike Rickard

    I’m buying two copies so I can learn these techniques in half the time!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  23. 23

    Arlen

    Sign me up. Right now. Immediately.

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    1st Apr 2009
  24. 24

    Ketan

    Please teach me the Five Pointed Palm Exploding Code Technique !!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    2nd Apr 2009
  25. 25

    Frank Stallone III

    This was the absolute hit at my work today; I honestly could not stop cracking up even after this fourth time showing my girlfriend (#geek moment). I too can not believe Andy was able to keep a straight face during this entire video and it only saw one real cut scene. I want to be a CSS Zen Master! =D

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    2nd Apr 2009
  26. 26

    Julian Schrader

    I wasn’t able to find a form to order—did you hide it using Zen Master techniques?

    Seriously great :D

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    2nd Apr 2009
  27. 27

    Julio Loayza

    Great!!!

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    2nd Apr 2009
  28. 28

    Julio Loayza

    Andy, definetely, I want to be like you (except for the haircut)

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    2nd Apr 2009
  29. 29

    Just

    Just great!
    Mr Clarke I’ve translated in Italian your speech in order to share it with some friends of mine. I hope it isn’t a problem :)
    Greetings

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    2nd Apr 2009
  30. 30

    Hector

    Genius! LOL

    How did you manage to keep such a straight face during the entire video? xD

    All these years studying CSS for nothing… I should have known better xD

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    3rd Apr 2009
  31. 31

    Big S

    The ultimate aim of CSS lies not in victory or defeat, but in the perfection of the character of its participants.

    You’ll know you’re really good when you don’t have to show it! - superb Zen Master

    (This comment was left on For A Beautiful Web)

    3rd Apr 2009
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