Referrer log Malarkey

If you've got a site, dig into your referrer logs and let me know some of the down-right strange things that people search for to find your site.

Referrer logs, we pretend to ignore them but let's be honest, we take a peek in there once in a while. Personally I love 'em, and having a quick rummage has become a bit of a habit.

Search strings are a particular favourite, an insight into some of the (usually warped) ways that people find this little site of mine. So, if you've got a site and if you've got some stats, let me know some of the weirdest/funniest/down-right strange things that people search for to find your site.

Post them here or write them on your blog and post a link back here.

Here is my top ten particular favourites for And All That Malarkey.

Confused? I am ;) Let's have yours!


  1. #1 On November 4, 2004 01:28 AM Colly said:

    I get loads of hits from Google for the girlfriend's "doing quite well" electropunk band. They're called "Gobsausage". That's a fave.

  2. #2 On November 4, 2004 01:36 AM Andrew Krespanis said:

    It wasn't me, I swear! My father rang me up yesterday and told me that I had pushed him out of the top 70 results for our surname. I'll tell him to stop it because it's throwing off your stats :p
    Damn funny, none the less!
    Mine are nowhere near as weird as yours, but here are a few that stand out...
    - mandatory
    - "programming terms" (on a design site? buh??)
    - taping cats together (Yes!!! Just what I always wanted)
    - Nerdery
    - inurl:gmail invite generator.
    Three months after the initial post, I'm still at number 7 for 'I want gmail'. Worst mistake I ever made! :|

  3. #3 On November 4, 2004 01:43 AM andrew | onebackpack said:

    Hahaha! Unfortunately I don't have anything that cool, but probably the most interesting are acrobatic child and burgerman sydney. There has also been numerous searches for Krispy Kreme and MOS Burger, which I've only ever referred to once.

    My blog is supposed to be the diary of my travels and adventures, but it seems like more people find it by searching for fast food than anything else!

    I like the live comment preview too, very cool.

  4. #4 On November 4, 2004 02:19 AM YoungHistorians said:

    I've gotten hits from disco hitler and nazi porn in the past.
    No, im not a Nazi.
    And yes, im Republican.

  5. #5 On November 4, 2004 02:25 AM patrick h. lauke said:

    not very exciting, but here goes:

    pantone 5425
    pantone 202
    pantone 227
    pantone 666
    pantone 3305
    thanks to server-side css thx1138
    creativity tree
    what is pov-pad
    stealing creativity
    fce ultra aqua
    a better scroller
    patrick h
    fire experiments
    eros show
    some product description lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetuer

    the last entry actually goes on for about 3 lines with the full lorem ipsum text.
    i love how i get lots of referrers for pantone colours, only because of my simple CSS experiment

  6. #6 On November 4, 2004 02:29 AM Jason Santa Maria said:

    I get lots of people looking for "naked camp" referring to our annual tri-birthday party, Camp Naked Terror.

  7. #7 On November 4, 2004 02:59 AM Keith Bell said:

    From the run-of-the-mill:

    - "swedish birds"
    - "caroline aherne naked"

    through the unintelligible:

    - "cock gogger"

    and the imaginative:

    - "egyptian themed bowling balls"

    and the bizarre, complete with misspelling:

    - "ben hammersly is a twat"

    to the downright sad:

    - "Life of Martin Bashir"

    and much more besides...

  8. #8 On November 4, 2004 04:27 AM Paul Larson said:

    -hyperlink appearance web design´┐Ż
    -http response codes 508 404 403 401

  9. #9 On November 4, 2004 07:01 AM Jeff Werner said:

    - eugene levy's email address
    - cotton layby photography
    - crack shortcut design %26 print
    - how to communicate with the man you want to be a friend

    I can kind of understand the first one (wrote a review for the film A Mighty Wind). The others, no idea.

  10. #10 On November 4, 2004 09:12 AM Malarkey said:

    @ Andrew Krespanis:

    OK... we'll accept your explanation this time... but if it keeps happening... ;)

    I've not thought about taping cats together, but it does sound funny! "Lucy... here kitty."

  11. #11 On November 4, 2004 09:40 AM Neko said:

    Picture of fleas
    pervert nuns
    detonate me
    robert the tallest man in history
    ingrown toenails
    fluffy pigs

    For decorum, I omitted the most dirty and porn-related. :3

  12. #12 On November 4, 2004 10:00 AM Richard Rutter said:

    I've got a page showing the most popular Google searches ending up at Clagnut. Number 1 being 'Simon Le Bon'!

  13. #13 On November 4, 2004 10:46 AM John Oxton said:

    Oxton turkey oil

    WTF is that!

  14. #14 On November 4, 2004 11:50 AM Tim said:

    "BBC Grease Monkeys Photo Gallery" was the most interesting one I could find...
    "details of crash on motorway on may 5 2003" was the most bizarre. Which motorway? Which country, even?

  15. #15 On November 4, 2004 01:33 PM Manlio Napoli said:

    Some of mine:

    - internet explorer 8.0
    - nonthermal OR wisdom OR alertness OR emphatic OR roasting
    - narcofreedom
    - prepaidlegalhelp
    - can i deload yahoo
    - voyeur
    - picasso swf
    - stocking
    - fatal error: allowed memory size 8388608 bytes

  16. #16 On November 4, 2004 01:47 PM Robert Wellock said:

    Erm, I don't have a lot of strange search strings but I do get hyperlink referred via many strange sites (some adult) albeit IBM Research is my most popular monthly visitor.

  17. #17 On November 4, 2004 01:55 PM Jon Hicks said:

    Mine are very dull. Mainly every combination of 'firefox' 'icon' and 'logo' that you can think of. 'Garlic' was the closest I ever came to an interesting search term. I guess I should be dropping in more references pants like Dunstan does.

    BTW Andy - should all the comments be red with underlines?

  18. #18 On November 4, 2004 01:55 PM Jon Hicks said:

    Hey - love the Brit Pack icons!!

  19. #19 On November 4, 2004 02:55 PM Brian Behrend said:

    My most interesting one is "a-rod purse" and several variations of that. I also get a lot for "tivotogo." Strangely enough, even though my site is far from popular I'm the number 3 result when you search for "Danielle Puleo." For you American football fans, she's Chris (son of Phil) Simms new wife. I only made one brief post on it, it's amazing how highly blogs get ranked.

  20. #20 On November 4, 2004 03:05 PM Malarkey said:

    This is fun, more please!

    Maybe someone should write up all the funny ones into a sentence or two and see how highly we can get a page ranked under taping underpants to picasso's cats or Simon LeBon + voyeur + perverted nuns! :)

  21. #21 On November 4, 2004 03:38 PM John Oxton said:

    You should try for a Google Whack!

  22. #22 On November 4, 2004 03:49 PM Mike Stenhouse said:

    Mine aren't that interesting but I seem to get a lot for:
    beatbox lessons (eh? not really my speciality. sober)
    jesus brazil (never met the chap but did take a picture of his statue in rio)
    and for a little while I was top for tottenham court road! Cheap electronics anyone?

  23. #23 On November 4, 2004 08:13 PM Neil said:

    Here are a few of my more memorable ones.

    ' marathon line spacer camper '
    ' international monkey '
    ' david blunkett's guide dog '

    I used to get a lot of google traffic looking for ' hot becky ', but thats all dried up now.

    The google traffic that is, not ' hot becky ' I'm sure.

  24. #24 On November 4, 2004 08:45 PM John Serris said:

    I never actually looked at searches carefully but going through last months referrals shows a few good ones!

    - big spliff
    - pink undies
    - roll up a big doobie
    - spread slingshot thong
    - pussy supreme
    - y front briefs galleries
    - "this is awesome"
    - red cars go faster
    - worlds best phunk site
    - sleep is overrated

    Might have to go through old logs and write a post about this too ;)

  25. #25 On November 5, 2004 03:12 AM Sam Ryan said:

    Here are some of mine:
    - beatles mac font
    - bush camera finger
    - phonebooking
    - expel kerry (?)

  26. #26 On November 5, 2004 05:24 AM Rod said:

    Here are a couple of my searches

    - css directory
    - bush network rangers diagram
    - 400,000 tons of munitions
    - convert mp3 to rbs
    - _;_;dopostback (don't ask me)
    - rod howard duck (came from some crazy se)

  27. #27 On November 5, 2004 06:46 AM zulkamal said:

    Here's from last month:
    - who is zacharias mousawi

    - terrorists national-reconnaissance office drug-enforcement air-force-one naval army intelligence

    - how this gentle non-political boy from a good egyptian family suddenly transformed himself into the vodka drinking go-go girl groping terrorist animal described by the media has to rank as the greatest personality change since that classic work of fiction dr. jekyll and mr. hyde.

  28. #28 On November 5, 2004 03:09 PM nobody said:

    "s&w 386pd holster"

    on a site that has nothing to do with guns and never mentions them anywhere.

  29. #29 On November 5, 2004 10:35 PM Jack said:

    I've gotten hits for:

    (Ed: Sorry Jack. I don't often edit or delete comments, but these had to go.)

    I am so sorry. People seem to search for questionable things but have SafeSearch turned on so my page ends up on the first page. Damn me and my potty mouth.

  30. #30 On November 5, 2004 10:45 PM dotjay said:

    My oddest ones have come in over the last couple of days:

    > 9F9036D6634447CC76CF25284F576C84
    > November 5th 1955 flux capacitor

  31. #31 On November 5, 2004 11:58 PM Malarkey said:

    Hi guys, here are some more of mine from today's stats...

    - unicode verdana
    - trendy button badges
    - d-day pics of world war 2

    and (wait for it...)

    - john oxton ;)

    Just wait until I see you John! :)

  32. #32 On November 7, 2004 01:34 AM andrew said:

    Some of the better ones:

    - toaster fetish
    - craptastic
    - one-armed drunk Texan

  33. #33 On November 8, 2004 01:10 AM Andrew Krespanis said:

    Another obscure one:

    And then some more examples of blogs highjacking searches for common words :)
    - sawdust
    - reset
    - Shortcut

  34. #34 On November 8, 2004 11:13 AM Phunky said:

    Mine are stupid, i dont have the exact one on me at the moment but i remeber some of the my fav ones:

    IE Min-Width Hack
    Skool girls

    Fishnchips is one of my favs :D

  35. #35 On November 8, 2004 01:58 PM Adrian Lee said:

    Heh, one we keep getting hit for at work is "Intereactive Sex". Now, that just sounds a little odd, but nothing overly strange in the Internet world.

    However, when you consider that we sell educational software..... Main market being schools..... I do start to wonder. Especially as the text with our listings in Google are usually fairly explicit in stating what we do. Rank for the term has dropped a bit since I took the sex ed title off the homepage, but still gets more than a few hits......

    Monday's are my log analysis days, so I'll have a look when i run em and spot some more :D

  36. #36 On November 8, 2004 02:18 PM Adrian Lee said:

    OK, thought I'd do it straight away :P
    The "Interactive sex" thing seems to be out 14th most popular search term actually!!!!

    A few others include

    cursive upright
    fetch the vet

    There are some odd people about......

  37. #37 On November 9, 2004 09:15 AM Pete S said:

    I think I must have the longest one...

    email addresses of board of directors of limited investment companies in white and blue pages 2004

    ... and breath!

  38. #38 On November 12, 2004 12:35 AM John Oxton said:

    girlfriend smell

    just turned up in my logs... I daren't ask!

  39. #39 On November 16, 2004 01:22 PM David Barrett said:

    This is like poetry:
    "baby tree"
    "baby in a tree"
    "poor freezing baby"

    The pigeon series
    "i hate pigeons"
    "hate pigeons"
    "pigeons called flying rats"
    "we hate pigeons"
    "i hate pigeons because"
    "hate and pigeon"
    "pigeons nuisance how to rid of pigeons disease"

    And the others:
    "pokemon sex"
    "best sex child" - really worried about this one
    "car roof chair"
    "headless fish"
    "ann coulter as a fish"
    "boyko email address 2004"
    "umesh malhotra"
    "etiam mollis fringilla ante."