Wipe-out

I’m tired. Really tired. Not just the tiredness that comes from back-to-back transatlantic flights crammed into airline seats (although I have another one of those to look forward to today), but the kind of tiredness that goes deep into my bones.


I have a lot to be thankful for. A career that many people would give their right arm for. A successful new book that I could not be more proud of. As many travel opportunities as I can fit into my schedule. I’ve worked hard for all these things, perhaps a little too hard at times and to the detriment of other things.

I’ve been tired for years. Years of thinking on my feet, thinking about clients’ needs before my own needs and the needs of my own business. Now it’s time to change.

In our industry, it’s all too easy to spend time working in a business, instead of working on a business. It’s all too easy to keep busy being busy. Burn out isn’t uncommon. Like many of my friends, I never turn off. I’ve no conventional working week, don’t work nine-to-five. I burn the candle at all ends. But I realise now that when I’m tired, no one gets the best of anything, me, my clients or the people I care about.

For years I’ve kidded myself that this came as part of the deal, was the nature of the game I play — always connected, always thinking, always doing. Recently I’ve begun to realise that being always on means that I’m always running, always hiding from thinking about what really matters. Always hiding means avoiding big decisions, dealing with big issues: stopping smoking, getting healthy (mentally and physically), addressing deep-seated feeling about the death of my father and my forced separation before his suicide. Hiding from making plans so that I don’t live and work from day to day, contract to contract. I’ve been hiding for years. Today, I stopped.

Two or three weeks from now when all my current client projects are delivered, I’m stopping. For a month, maybe two. For the first time in years, I’m putting what really matters first. Most importantly I’ll focus on myself and deal with issues I should have dealt with years ago.


 
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