Malarkey is Andy Clarke, a creative designer with a passion for accessibility and web standards. This is his personal website.

Ten time travelling bloggers

Time travel. It’s a subject that often keeps me awake at night, pondering… So I thought I’d interview a bunch of bloggers to help me out.

Thanks to Brit Packers Andy Budd, Simon Collison, Jon Hicks, Gordon Mackay, Tim Parkin and Richard Rutter. Thanks also to Cameron Adams, Shaun Inman, Jason Santa Maria, Paul Scrivens and Russ Weekley for taking the time and trouble.

Feel free to add your own :)

If you could build a time machine…

1. What vehicle would you build it into?

Cameron Adams: A Segway people mover.

Andy Budd: A Chopper bike or a Space Hoppper.

Simon Collison: I’m tempted to say a Nissan Cherry (my first car), but I’d probably go for an Icelandic Hummer.

Jon Hicks: A mint condition Austin Healey roadster. British Racing Green please!

Shaun Inman: I imagine that traveling through time would be a lot like teleporting. If you didn’t know the landscape of your destination there would always be that danger of materializing entirely or partially inside another physical object. With that in mind I would have to choose a hot-air balloon - not a whole lot of things to materialize into while up in the sky.

Gordon Mackay: An Audi TT.

Tim Parkin: A Bowler Wildcat.

Richard Rutter: A JCB might come in handy.

Jason Santa Maria: Why build one when I could just augment Airwolf?

Paul Scrivens: Something simple. Probably by VW, let’s go with a Jetta.

Russ Weekley: It would have to be solid, functional and usable. Clear panel layout with easy to use buttons.

2. Would travel backwards or forwards in time?

Cameron Adams: Forwards.

Andy Budd: I’d travel back in time to the 70’s. That way my Chopper/Space Hopper wouldn’t look out of place.

Simon Collison: Forwards. It’d be nice to know if England ever will win a major football tournament. (Ed says: Not this year Colly (sob))

Jon Hicks: Backwards. I’d like to go back to 1950’s England and live there.

Shaun Inman: Backwards, preferably before the Wright Brother’s little experiment.

Gordon Mackay: Forwards.

Tim Parkin: I’d go backwards for browsing but definitely forwards to stay.

Richard Rutter: Forwards. We know a lot about the past but little or nothing about the future.

Jason Santa Maria: Backwards. If I’ve learned anything, the only possible future for Earth includes a world overrun by murderous robots, or possibly Morlocks.

Paul Scrivens: Backwards.

Russ Weekley: The future scares me and the past doesn’t excite me much either.

3. What would you most like to see when you get there, or what would you bring back from your trip?

Cameron Adams: The 35th host of Eric Meyer’s brain and I’d bring back a fully standards compliant Microsoft browser (Ed says: Now that IS science-fiction Cameron).

Andy Budd: Woodstock and a young Steve Jobs. I’d show him how Apple lost their advantage to Microsoft. Then I’d pack him off with the current Apple line-up. As soon as this happened, history would change and we’d now all be working on G9 Macs running OS 13.7!

Simon Collison: I’d expect to see Police using light-sabres. I’d also enjoy seeing flying cars. It’d be particularly exciting to visit Nottingham in it’s new status as Capital of England. I’d bring back postage-stamp-sized, in-ear iPods.

Shaun Inman: Um, no birds or giraffe necks poking out of my body and me, inside a hot-air balloon.

Jon Hicks: I’m hoping that it be like it is in the films of that era. Bobbies on the beat, nice cars (but not many of them about), big red buses, smiley people, lots of countryside. I’d smoke a pipe, wear tweeds, watch cricket matches and zoom around country lanes in my souped up Austin Healey. And I wouldn’t come back (as long as I could take my family with me).

Gordon Mackay: I’d bring back a three-breasted, mutant blonde chick.

Tim Parkin: The origins of civilisation. Was the floody myth really the black sea filling up from the Med? Was there a proto civilisation around it’s banks? Where did Islam/Buddhism/Christianty come from (the same place?)?

Richard Rutter: The Isle of Wight under 3ft of water and Chelsea’s trophy warehouse. I’d bring back pair of teleporters so I can commute from Brighton to London in seconds (I assume) without bothering with the wretched trains.

Jason Santa Maria: I’d hop into Airwolf and travel back to save Jesus in the nick of time by throwing him a rope ladder. Afterwards people will hail me as their new lord and master. On the way back I’d make a stop in 1967 Bluff Creek to get quality footage of Bigfoot, selling it for a hefty price and touring the talk show circuit. I could write a book about my time traveling adventures (and tumultuous affairs with history’s most beautiful women) or perhaps star in my own reality TV series.

Paul Scrivens: Jesse Owens winning gold in Germany in 1936 and maybe the first issue of Time Magazine.

Russ Weekley: I’d probably go and check out all the worlds great religious people and video them. I’m sure if they did exist they would be vastly over-rated.

Errrr, well that’s cleared that up then… Look out for more silly questions in the future (or maybe in the past).

Replies

  1. #1 On June 25, 2004 05:27 PM Richard Rutter said:

    Thanks for that Andy - it was fun. You just needed an excuse for those Dr Who photos, didn’t you?

  2. #2 On June 27, 2004 05:19 PM Andy Budd said:

    Jon Hicks: "Bobbies on the beat, nice cars (but not many of them about), big red buses, smiley people, lots of countryside. I’d smoke a pipe, wear tweeds, watch cricket matches and zoom around country lanes in my souped up Austin Healey. And I wouldn’t come back (as long as I could take my family with me)."

    Maybe you should just move to the Wight?

  3. #3 On June 28, 2004 02:33 PM David McDonald said:

    But where’s Tom Baker?

  4. #4 On June 28, 2004 03:20 PM Malarkey said:

    @ David: Ahhh, originally there were four questions and Tom Baker was going into the fourth.

    But I decided to combine questions three and four, so Tom got into his Tardis and he is now somewhere in the mid 1940s trying to prevent George W Bush from ever being born… :)